Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Oldest Incorrigible Pass Time of The World!

There is and idea about the oldest profession ever in the world. The answers are a bit ambiguous and not much related to the blog. But recently, I was thinking that what was the oldest pass time activity. There are several answers including consuming some narcotics. Don't know what Egyptians used to have but quite know that Indians have always been fond of "Soma ras". Kind of elixir (FYI: Elixir has the etymology from the words al-iksir. Quite Arabic!)

Suddenly, I heard few known yet unknown college mates of mine who were bragging about how they "let go" the golden opportunity they once had. I got that. The oldest pass time was bragging. Gasconading. The word. The meaning of the word is small but the consequences are quite an elixir. It is a kind of euphoria that people feel while bragging. But afterwards, when that "OMG! You know him!" disease takes up a hold you just turn into a can't-even-die Whitney Houston syndrome. Egotist and bragging seem quite a similar. But the thing is that ego is sometimes a driving force whereas a brag is nothing sort of a pass time which may turn wrong and turn your life into Jumanji. God forbid. Just how P. Chidambaram and his fellow sinner Montek Ahluwalia bragged about bringing economic reforms. They sure brought reforms for themselves.



Quite off topic? Nope. Today's topic is bragging and I have an incident. This took place at least a year or two back. Very well known to Ahmedabadi people is the spot named Vastrapur Lake. Generally, I don't go out with friends just to grab a bite to eat. That's what we all used to do at home so what's the use of doing the same out. Irrelevant. But we were all having a round table conference on a very obviously unpredictable topic. We were blasting on a friend when it (it is used because I don't want to clarify whether it was he/she. Bear it@!) just avoided our group on an occasion. We were almost teasing it to death when we all heard a shattering disclosure from a tummy-tummy-mummy-loved man. He sparked from his wiggling piston, "Zara Narayan Murthy se puchhke batana, Infosys ka kya bhaav chal raha hai." (Cut). This means that he was in contact with a person (of which world?!) who had a contact with Rev. N. Murthy that he himself would tell him the price of his software giant's shares! I was more puzzled with ridiculous attention grabbing effort than the lie itself. Next he called K.P. Gill's P.A. and asked about the campus placement drill that DLF is making in Ahmedabad's colleges.

None of the buddies pay any attention to him first, except me. This led to a great conclusion number one in my mind. People don't pay any attention to whatever you brag as they are more interested in making others listen to their hypothetically accomplished Herculean tasks. So after few vain attempts that man saw the tends-to-zero interest amongst the surrounding flora and fauna (except for a beggar girl asking to let him lend a nickel which he "might" have got via Infosys or DLF!). He turned in a manner in a way that would put even Pierce Brosnan to shame. The name is Bond. Vagabond. I introduced him to my mind myself. But his face was like "No. No. I am the Bond." I was at that time quite shocked that with such people in our life, we can't win an Oscar for style. He was more of a Chuck Norris and even a femto-meter ahead of Rajnikant. He said, "Aapko DLF ya ICICI ya Infosys mein job chahiye?" Such an offer can't be seen even in a mela except in the spam mails. Just to enjoy the session, I jumped with an affirmative exclamation. I am good at falsely boosting people, I guess. He got a contract! He turned to other friends (and especially the girls with us) and said, "Aapko bhi job mil sakta hai." Definitely man. We aren't living in Taliban infested Afghanistan. I have a friend who is quite a quick-mouth. She was almost going to ruin my fun by telling that man that he was a chalta-firta jhooth ki factory when I signed her to keep a bit quite. The conversation went at least half an hour in which my first obvious question was how did he know such people to which his reply reflected a hypothetical nepotism running in Infosys. I clarified that he wasn't working with Satyam. He knew Mr. Murthy's son and had played with him. My first reaction to that answer was like that of Veeru's dialogue in Sholay, "Gabbar koi bakri ka bachha hai jo doda aur pakad liya?" But let the man finish. At the end of our "fruitful" conversation, he handed his obnoxious, unpardonable, offensive and ridiculous e-mail ID which I can't write here. Few girls wrote it just to look kinky to him. According to me, he was trying to look kinky to them. Anyway, they haven't installed my brain software, so viruses are obvious. He left with a call to the Dean of IIM-A, Sameer Barua, telling his friends needed admission in IIM-A and the man on the other side of the phone assured him that even without them passing CAT, he would get them in! Awesome! Shall I laugh or go home and install a disc in my brain to format it?

But this is it. Initially, bragging was considered to be a vice. A person, incapable to do any work, used to brag and the society used to kind of outcast him, verbally. Now it is a modern way of marketing. Rules change and so changes the game. Ultimate results though are based on the efforts put on getting the right results (legally and ethically is optional nowadays). But that's it. Ethics are antiques, which no Parsi uncle sells nowadays. A fool fools another fool. That befooled person is ready to get fooled. It is a cycle. No one cares. This is rampant everywhere. Education, governance, defense, innovation and every damn thing. Democracy is the constitution of tomfoolery. It fools people. People are fooled by the people for the people and with the people.

Signing Off

*Dump*

Did I fool you? Am I bragging about my blog? Do pin point me out because I am not democratic! Rate this article and exercise your true birth right called Vote!