Sniffler's Metadata!

Sniffler: A person who is suffering from congested nose and breathing heavily.

Metadata: Data about data.

“Life can make you do many things, even kiss a man with running nose”

-Mikhail Kalashnikov

The man who said the above lines, invented our terrorists dearest AK 47! I laughed at it initially but not any more. *SNEEEZEE* (Handkerchief aided cleaning of my nose). Hell the climate, where neither rain falls and nor the rain from someone’s nose stops! Aware are the people who don’t think what they should and who talk they should not! Interestingly, nothing happens when you want to get out of a pathetic situation. Neither your phone rings, nor there comes an alert about your result, nothing! Absolutely nothing. Well, lemme start now what I am talking about.

Once upon a time, in the month of July 2011, a boy named Chinmay, was sitting at a café, waiting for his friends. Unfortunately, they didn’t show up but the heavy rain did. Stranded all alone, he was unable to think of what to do, when he called at his home, to inform about the situation. He plugged his divine headphones and started listening melodious remixes. But there was a devil, the Sniffler, about whom Chinmay didn’t know. He came with a wrecked elder voice of scolding and in the attire of a really sophisticated (deceptive) man. So he the conversation goes:

Sniffler: Why you people hear to this nonsense headphones all the time?

Chinmay: Excuse me? Sir, are you telling this to me?

Sniffler: See? You don’t even know who is clling you! (Loudest , heaviest and wettest sneeze ever arrives)

Chinmay: Ohh. I am sorry! I didn’t…

Sniffler: You have a cloth piece or kerchief?

(Chinmay frowns in dilemma. What if he will say “No” to that old man? Nope. He will bombard lecture. Nope!)

Chinmay: Of course. Take this. (Giving with an expression of not wanting to receive it back)

Sniffler: Good. (No Thank You).

Chinmay: You gotta cold? Cough too?

Now starts the climax of the story as the devil shows his real face of pathetic dirtiness, his sadistic pleasure of making someone to puke, his harsh wet coughing voice which is the icing on the cough cake.

Sniffler: You don’t know. Three days before, I was all wet in rain. Upto here (shows his drenched thighs on which there are some twigs!). When I was at you age…

Chinmay: (Interrupting to save himself of the “Good Old Days” lecture) Ohh my God! What happened after getting drenched?

Sniffler: Oh…I went at my home then. But the next day, when I woke up, I saw that my pillow was covered with thick yellow stinking mucus from my nose! (Chinmay pukes from the soul but doesn’t show) Then I went to the basin and sniffed it out. It took approx half an hour to clean my nose. (Chinmay just tries to say about doctor) No doctor can do that. It was pathetic. Then I used my brain. I kept sneezing like this (gives free and full demo). And there came out pint of mucus! (Unfortunately, it was repeated too! Yuuccckkk!) I did that for an hour. Then, slowly I started feeling good. (Chinmay sneezed. Surprisingly, he gave a handkerchief. Wonder!) But yesterday, again my entire handkerchief was rot. There was fungus and mucus around it and it turned into a hard starched-like cloth. I cleaned it and you can see now as you are using (Chinmay cries from the soul but again, doesn’t show) and it’s as good as new! Then…

The story is too long to be told and too pathetic and nauseating to hear. I would like to conclude here. That old man got me jitters and shivers with his “Delhi Belly” talks. I don’t remember how he stopped and how I was saved. I came home by keeping my eyes down of furious lightning. So, I don’t know how the time passed and I was saved from getting passed away. Ending with something, not like a poem:

I was the victim of the heavy rain.

I was the victim of my friends ignoring pain.

I was the victim of that dirty Sniffler’s talks.

I was the victim of “Sniffler’s Metadata!”

Offlining (Sneeze)

*Dump*

;)

The "Bayooon" man! It isn't a child's play now!

Hello folks!

I am happy to see myself again writing the blog and seeing you reading it happily (go on. This time I have summin’ different to say). Every time, I have one or the other idea about the surroundings and think like, “OK. What’s the big deal about it?” attitude, because most of the things have lost their meanings and are just a living/non-living objects which are in this world fulfilling other people’s desire and then get thrown away. Kind of depreciation, you know.

I was taking an evening walk near my house, when I surprisingly saw a modern child with a modern mother, standing near a balloon man and his mother was willfully purchasing balloons for her baby. The boy shouted in his cheerfully humming and unclear voice, “Bayooon!” (Yeah. Children of such age SHOULD speak like that and not in a sophisticated parrot voice, new mothers! It’s their innocence). The way that baby pronounced balloon was so mesmerizing that even an aged wrecked and wretched person would start loving balloons. Wow! It was a rainy weather and wet all over. And there lied the soothing smell of the wet soil and the soothing symphonic shout of the child! It was just an event that was as rare as a gamma ray burst (SPOILERS: ANTI-SCIENCE people can skip this line but can read “blue moon” instead of gamma ray burst).

This case is very rare. Really, I haven’t seen any mom-child pair buying balloons or any such things which were natural pleasure in yore. I have seen mom talking over her cell phone and her child looking blankly at the traffic honking. I have seen a mom bargaining with the store owner and the child listening to music with an iPod or so. Or in worst case (comic too!), the mom is fighting with the store owner and the child is crying loudly. You all can assume what the mum next step can be. Yep, you are right.

Karate classes, swimming classes, academic tuition right from 1^st grade, mental math classes, singing classes, dance classes, social networking (this should be considered as a censored material just like an adult film with same age limit restrictions) etc. and what not. Really speaking, the meaning of the phrase “A child’s play” has drastically and has contrarily changed now. All this should be legally banned for a child below 10 years of age or so. The strain which the parents are applying on them just ruins them. Recently, I have observed that the small children aren’t crying, they won’t pine for things. They have become blank. This is extremely dangerous. It is spoiling the entire innocent generation. The ultra modernization of the tech world is definitely going to kill them. Placing an iPod or a BlackBerry or gifting a MacBook Pro, is not going to make your child survive in this world. The real talent is brain which blooms in gardens, friends, fights, fun, drenching in rain, playing (not on PC!), buying “bayooons” (I am kinda like this word from the core of heart now!). I know many of the readers may argue that the child won’t be competitive if he doesn’t go to classes. My answer: Have you heard the word “saturation”? Yes. That’s the word. None of us is going to feel but the perpetrated (read: A child performing “modern acts”) will produce a silent shrill which will slit our soul. Biologically too, a child’s mind is too under developed to fulfill his parents’ desire of achieving a black belt in karate at the age of 9 or becoming Ian Thorpe at the age of 7 or dancing for 3 straight hours.

But I know none of the parents are going to think about this. And I am not going to give you any example which will make it clear. Why? Coz you don’t wanna think and I don’t wanna say.

Step Up: “Delhi Belly”. A movie not recommended even for adults and ONLY for PERVERTS! Cheapest and meaningless movie with a very ordinary storyline and extraordinary use of swear words. (Your socially active child of 10 will discuss Delhi Belly on Facebook, won’t he?).

Tribute to innocent childhood voice: "The Cuppy Cake" Song (Click for the video and for Mp3 download). Watch or listen to revive the child in you, if any. Hahahaha!

Offlining

*Dump*

;)

The Scientific Insult!

I hope all of you have seen "Avatar" (Eng) or atleast have heard of it. I was just revising the story when a very illogical and non-scientific side of it clicked me. According to the movie, the Pandora planet is 4.3 billion (!) light years away where man is finding the "Unobtainium" (It is not a hi-fi word. Un+obtain+nium :-P). Just think, can we go that much far? No. But let us assume we are travelling with that much speed (=light speed, which is almost impossible as mass will get infinite) that will sum up as we will need 4.3billion years to reach that planet. Now, they are using teleportation. Recent science: wormhole is the key to teleportation, that too theoretically. Ok, let's check it out as a sci-fi and don't blame it. But is it the right way to press wrong thoughts into the mind of people. Unfortunately, John Cameron has always nastily (illogically) played with science even in his, The Terminator series, where he just has confused people with weird time travelling phenomenon. (James Cameron once told that it was difficult to conceive the idea of Terminator but he didn't specifically answer how he figured it out then. Sci-Fi! :-P) Never mind. (Sh)It happens. But looking at my previous post on science (in fact an e-mail) I think that certain normal misconception among the common people is making them to think science is a kind of non-paying subject and they believe that the person becomes more of a bookish kind rather than real knowledgeable. 

A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said: "What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise." The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, "What is the tortoise standing on?" "You're very clever, young man, very clever," said the old lady. "But it's turtles all the way down!"

So is the pseudo knowledgeable, pseudo secular, pseudo busy, pseudo cultural (it should be easier to classify such people as Pseudomonas. Don't know? Wiki it!) pseudo humanitarian (I hate when people allege the Large Hadron Collider as a waste and an uneconomic junk. Maybe, one day due to LHC, you may be able to buy diamonds, create healthier plants and what not at the basic sub-atomic or atomic level)

Doesn't matter. Maybe this was a heavy dose for a blog written after a long time. I am surprised by the way. The 10th follower of my blog is named, Kinjal. May I know who you are? :D

Offlining

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;)

The Science

Long time since new post, eh? But "der aaye durust aaye". So, firstly Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening (and for uninterested people, Good Night!) to all the readers of this blog (I am stuck to 8 followers and want you to do a little marketing for this blog honestly, if and only if you feel this blog is a nice one).

 So, here we go>>>>

An exercise I have started as a routine and that is sending scientific messages, precisely SMSes, to all interested people. Actually the following blog is an e-mail I sent it to the Sci-SMS friends but after some discouraging comments which blamed me of wasting their time (as if I am always free! :-@) I was tempted to write this email to them. So here it goes.

NOTE: Here you can assume (sms friends) = you (blog readers), but leave it for now.

****The E-mail Starts****

Almost every day, I am sending you all some FYI smses and some quotes by scientists. Few of you like them and rest think it to be a trash. I am not doing this to irritate you but I have few reasons which have compelled me to do so.

1. People have lost scientific approach towards everything. What you call the scientific reasoning in your day to day life is just a scientific fact you have accepted.

2. We marvel at scientific applications like the cellphone, iPad, IPhone and all. We love the touch screen devices. But can you marvel at the science behind it? Can you marvel at the operating system intelligence behind it? Can you marvel that how 1 and 0 that can provide you with the most powerful and funky gadgets, you ever thought? Can you marvel that how the idea of using binary numbers might have occurred?

3. Falling standards of the education system, purely examination based study approach of students and teachers and totally discouraging government policy have almost killed the value of science. Discouraging government policy example: The salary of a scientist in ISRO is too low compared to that of a NASA scientist. Difference is ISRO has 99% success rate, almost incomparable to NASA's failure reality.

4. Engineering is a very nice branch. Its meaning is applied science. That means, you should have the basic knowledge else it will be tough to grasp (read again. It will get tough and not impossible to get basic knowledge even at such high level)

5. If people will lose interest in science and research, there will be no progress. Just think, what would have happened if Tim Berners Lee wouldn't have an idea of Internet. What would have happened if William Shockley et al didn't invent semi-conductor transistors? What if Dr. Luke Monteigner would not have found HIV (Human Immuno Deficiency) virus? These are just some vague but true examples. There are many more reasons why progress will stop if scientific approach isn't developed

6. People hate science and see it as an ambiguous, baffling and hyperbolic subject. WRONG! It will never baffle you rather it will purge you of your baffling.

7. I think to be the most powerful thing apart from all and that is religionism. To comment anti-science is now considered to be a status symbol. No one will buy a book on science but people will buy some idiotic so-called aesthetic painting. (Science here: How do you perceive a good painting? How it looks pleasing to you? All because of Golden ratio: 1.618. The Mona Lisa, Our Ear Spiral, the Shell of Snail all are the nature’s beauty designed in this Golden ratio/Golden proportion.)

So these were the points (I doubt whether people will come to this paragraph or not) which are feared in near future and will kill the scientific attitude and approach of people.

I send you some scientific messages just for the sake of you getting spellbound of by the marvellous science. Forwarding philosophical messages without knowledge and just for the sake of forwarding is not an advisable activity to kill time. I know my activity will not be a step to scientific progress. But at least I think that at least some of you will take a bit interest in science after reading it.

Lastly, I would like to give you all an opportunity to be free from my science related messages. Just mail me a simple e-mail telling in short that you don't want these messages. Without getting hurt, I will stop sending you such messages. Because some great person has already said,

"Science is progressing even when you don't know"

Hoping for your reply in an e-mail or a sms.

Chinmay

****The Email Ends****

****Blog Also Ends****

Offlining

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