RA. One: Why is it over-rated?

Infinitely stupid and an arrogantly retard movie. Why? Because I had hopes? Naah. When it is SRK, I just hope a good Hindi copy of English movies. So just in that hope, I zip zap and zoomed to Wide Angle, a prominent theater of Ahmedabad. The moment I entered, I felt that I am going to see a big budget movie, full of VFX. And I was a bit confident that SRK may not excel in acting, but VFX wasn't his arena and hence I wished an adrenaline packed action!

Adrenaline? I needed an Aspirin. The entry video (mind it, Video!) is such a dumb piece of SRK type comedy, that within 1st five minutes, the films starts to get on your nerves. That too in such a way, that you start worrying that whether the film is going to start or not. Frankly speaking, I was a bit confused. I had heard of RA. One first and the last time, when it was declared that SRK was up-to something. My idea during the 1st scene was that maybe, as happens in Bollywood, Kareena might have been dropped out of it. But Sanjay Dutt wasn't there in my dreams! I was a bit baffled. But when I saw a copy of Batpod driven by our own SRK, I got that. The master copier was on the way. But that horrible dream of SRK's son (he was tooooo! :) Irritating! :( :P ) is, I mean, in no case it develops your interest in movies. Papa The Great chhaap comedy, sounds cliche.

Story is cliched. A father tries to prove a hero in his son's eyes. Purely imperfect. SRK doesn't strike a single chord, not even a besura taal, in his character of Shekhar Subramaniam. Accent is horrible and funnily mediocre. I can't understand why a South Indian is always postered as "Aiyai yo", "Yenna", "Appa" and "Rascala"? Why? It seems that RA. One was there to compete Robot in terms of IQ (Irritating Potential)! Mind blowing RA. One scored 300! :D

In the middle of torture, comes an interval. Post interval, the movie gains a momentum for a little time. But the script doesn't follow "Law of Conservation of Momentum" and turns to a momentary impulse, losing gravity and poking fun on its own script! Exalted. Why? Because that is probably the last straw on the camel's back. Kareena (I never liked her acting) is more funny when she gets emotional. That small kid, is an un-originally idiot "dood". Rampal is quite nice, contrary to my belief. And seriously, he is much much much better. Shahana Goswami, you are wasted. Sorry for you.

To sum up, SRK's movies are nothing else but a self sung melodies of praise and whose notes are copied from Western movies like TRON: Legacy, Terminator, Iron Man, Transformer, The Dark Knight (esp. that 1st Batpod scene) and what not. Too many cooks may spoil the broth, but it is okay, unless you have to pay heavily, like 2.5 hours and some Rs. 150. My verdict is that, people who say "We should praise an Indian film's effort" please make yourself comfortable in this hula-hoop of blatant sensationally promoted mindless, second-rated movie. Please SRK, do something original like Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa, or Baadshah, but for God's sake, don't play with people's money. RA. One is nothing more than a thug movie, which robs not only your money but also your precious Diwali, mood, fun and jeers at the capability of an Indian movie's damn fool replica of several benchmark flicks!

Offlining!

*Dump*

;)

iRequiem For An iDream

Requiem: A song or hymn of mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person

Dream: Something which Steve Jobs redefined (without going to sleep)

There is something in the title of this blog, I hope which most of you might have understood. "i" is no longer just a letter. "i" is no longer in capitals. "i" is iPhone, "i" is iPod, "i" is iMac. "i" is Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs retired from Earth on October 5, 2011. I was shocked at 7am today (6 Oct.) when I saw in the headlines that Jobs quits Earth. Though I am neither any "i"-product user, but as many laymen, I have always been fascinated by them. It isn't that smooth scrolling of the iPhone, that touches your heart. It is the background of a two-time cancer patient's impatience towards innovation that steals the heartbeat. To idealize innovation is good and necessary, but to put innovation in practice is difficult. But DIFFICULT wasn't the word in Jobs iDictionary. He was a man with DIFFerent CULT.

As usual but with a heavy heart, I posted a tribute to Jobs in my ScientiFreak SMS channel. I was really sorry. I became much sorry when some messages reverted as "Who was he?", "Oh :(. Who is he?" It isn't just the ignorance of people. One cannot expect each common man having knowledge about such CEOs or Chairman. But then....Nothing.

Steve Jobs was admired widely for his extreme determination in fighting the cancer battle, twice (Liver and Pancreas). But what I liked the most of him was the innovation. You may have instances of numerous people who might have fought cancer with zeal, but Jobs wasn't one of them. He innovated till his death by placing an iPhone 4S in market. Many people will add that as a product gimmick or whatever, but I say, that "iPhone 4S" means an "iPhone 4Steve".

Apple's product are probably the most expensive consumer products (I have a dream to own a MacBook just because it is priced at >= 1 Lacs :) Wish me luck!) But the second you just see them (not even touching it), you will feel the ambiance of creation. You feel the aroma of a continuous dying spirit which may not be seen henceforth.

It isn't that only Apple has lost him. The entire Orange has also lost him. (Orange as described for the shape of Earth)

Well, who am i (should I write I or "i") to tribute such a great soul? No one pays a tribute to him. But yes, the coming years will hear a ring of a faint echo of Steve in the field of IT and Computers, when a force of invention will be felt to be at rest.

My quote for Steve:

"Steve Jobs hasn't died. He has just innovated himself from his ailing body to a cleaner and greater soul!"

R.i.P Jobs

Offlining

:(

Why you shouldn't be an Indian? (Part-1)

Today I came across one of the harshest (and but obvious, expected) reality of Indian mind set. I saw a future, which most of you might never have thought of. Or even if you had a pinch of this bitter prediction, I am proud to have you as my subscriber! :)

India:

 A country where problems aren’t solved, where problems are considered to be appetizer or a daily dose for becoming active (!) and prove yourself as a powerful person. A place where not only wretched politicians are corrupt but the entire population is corrupt. It isn’t only the illiteracy; it is also the education which creates the problem. It isn’t only the uncivilized people; it is also some so-called civilized divas, which are meaner than wretches.

Whenever you see a growth chart of India, mind it very well that it is like calling a 12^th failing person 12^th STD genius. It is like describing Einstein or Newton as fools. It is like reversely writing GOD and then praying that. 

India is a country where even <2% are honest. It is even a greater figure, so let us calibrate it to < 2 x 10^-3 %.

A disturbing incident, I would not like to mention here, occurred tonight, leaving me a hopeless and a psychotic idealist whose ideas were treated like some perversions. Whose suggestions were ridiculed to the apex of their sheer bastardliness. I found a solution to one of the simplest and most rampant problem in the most foolproof way. It didn’t take even a minute to come across that answer, but I can’t stop swearing that how meanest and most negative people can create problems. Solutions should be found out by taking the worst possibility in mind. Design it for future expansion and then give approximate safety space. But here, it is like cross arguing. It is the blame game which just doesn’t end.

I am in no mood to write further (and so I have made this post in parts) as it is a “The Dumpyard” and I don’t want to make it as dirty as India (You have problem with this? Sue me and I will be the 2000000th case. Nothing more!)

Good Night and Have a nice day tomorrow!

*Offlining*

Sniffler's Metadata!

Sniffler: A person who is suffering from congested nose and breathing heavily.

Metadata: Data about data.

“Life can make you do many things, even kiss a man with running nose”

-Mikhail Kalashnikov

The man who said the above lines, invented our terrorists dearest AK 47! I laughed at it initially but not any more. *SNEEEZEE* (Handkerchief aided cleaning of my nose). Hell the climate, where neither rain falls and nor the rain from someone’s nose stops! Aware are the people who don’t think what they should and who talk they should not! Interestingly, nothing happens when you want to get out of a pathetic situation. Neither your phone rings, nor there comes an alert about your result, nothing! Absolutely nothing. Well, lemme start now what I am talking about.

Once upon a time, in the month of July 2011, a boy named Chinmay, was sitting at a café, waiting for his friends. Unfortunately, they didn’t show up but the heavy rain did. Stranded all alone, he was unable to think of what to do, when he called at his home, to inform about the situation. He plugged his divine headphones and started listening melodious remixes. But there was a devil, the Sniffler, about whom Chinmay didn’t know. He came with a wrecked elder voice of scolding and in the attire of a really sophisticated (deceptive) man. So he the conversation goes:

Sniffler: Why you people hear to this nonsense headphones all the time?

Chinmay: Excuse me? Sir, are you telling this to me?

Sniffler: See? You don’t even know who is clling you! (Loudest , heaviest and wettest sneeze ever arrives)

Chinmay: Ohh. I am sorry! I didn’t…

Sniffler: You have a cloth piece or kerchief?

(Chinmay frowns in dilemma. What if he will say “No” to that old man? Nope. He will bombard lecture. Nope!)

Chinmay: Of course. Take this. (Giving with an expression of not wanting to receive it back)

Sniffler: Good. (No Thank You).

Chinmay: You gotta cold? Cough too?

Now starts the climax of the story as the devil shows his real face of pathetic dirtiness, his sadistic pleasure of making someone to puke, his harsh wet coughing voice which is the icing on the cough cake.

Sniffler: You don’t know. Three days before, I was all wet in rain. Upto here (shows his drenched thighs on which there are some twigs!). When I was at you age…

Chinmay: (Interrupting to save himself of the “Good Old Days” lecture) Ohh my God! What happened after getting drenched?

Sniffler: Oh…I went at my home then. But the next day, when I woke up, I saw that my pillow was covered with thick yellow stinking mucus from my nose! (Chinmay pukes from the soul but doesn’t show) Then I went to the basin and sniffed it out. It took approx half an hour to clean my nose. (Chinmay just tries to say about doctor) No doctor can do that. It was pathetic. Then I used my brain. I kept sneezing like this (gives free and full demo). And there came out pint of mucus! (Unfortunately, it was repeated too! Yuuccckkk!) I did that for an hour. Then, slowly I started feeling good. (Chinmay sneezed. Surprisingly, he gave a handkerchief. Wonder!) But yesterday, again my entire handkerchief was rot. There was fungus and mucus around it and it turned into a hard starched-like cloth. I cleaned it and you can see now as you are using (Chinmay cries from the soul but again, doesn’t show) and it’s as good as new! Then…

The story is too long to be told and too pathetic and nauseating to hear. I would like to conclude here. That old man got me jitters and shivers with his “Delhi Belly” talks. I don’t remember how he stopped and how I was saved. I came home by keeping my eyes down of furious lightning. So, I don’t know how the time passed and I was saved from getting passed away. Ending with something, not like a poem:

I was the victim of the heavy rain.

I was the victim of my friends ignoring pain.

I was the victim of that dirty Sniffler’s talks.

I was the victim of “Sniffler’s Metadata!”

Offlining (Sneeze)

*Dump*

;)

The "Bayooon" man! It isn't a child's play now!

Hello folks!

I am happy to see myself again writing the blog and seeing you reading it happily (go on. This time I have summin’ different to say). Every time, I have one or the other idea about the surroundings and think like, “OK. What’s the big deal about it?” attitude, because most of the things have lost their meanings and are just a living/non-living objects which are in this world fulfilling other people’s desire and then get thrown away. Kind of depreciation, you know.

I was taking an evening walk near my house, when I surprisingly saw a modern child with a modern mother, standing near a balloon man and his mother was willfully purchasing balloons for her baby. The boy shouted in his cheerfully humming and unclear voice, “Bayooon!” (Yeah. Children of such age SHOULD speak like that and not in a sophisticated parrot voice, new mothers! It’s their innocence). The way that baby pronounced balloon was so mesmerizing that even an aged wrecked and wretched person would start loving balloons. Wow! It was a rainy weather and wet all over. And there lied the soothing smell of the wet soil and the soothing symphonic shout of the child! It was just an event that was as rare as a gamma ray burst (SPOILERS: ANTI-SCIENCE people can skip this line but can read “blue moon” instead of gamma ray burst).

This case is very rare. Really, I haven’t seen any mom-child pair buying balloons or any such things which were natural pleasure in yore. I have seen mom talking over her cell phone and her child looking blankly at the traffic honking. I have seen a mom bargaining with the store owner and the child listening to music with an iPod or so. Or in worst case (comic too!), the mom is fighting with the store owner and the child is crying loudly. You all can assume what the mum next step can be. Yep, you are right.

Karate classes, swimming classes, academic tuition right from 1^st grade, mental math classes, singing classes, dance classes, social networking (this should be considered as a censored material just like an adult film with same age limit restrictions) etc. and what not. Really speaking, the meaning of the phrase “A child’s play” has drastically and has contrarily changed now. All this should be legally banned for a child below 10 years of age or so. The strain which the parents are applying on them just ruins them. Recently, I have observed that the small children aren’t crying, they won’t pine for things. They have become blank. This is extremely dangerous. It is spoiling the entire innocent generation. The ultra modernization of the tech world is definitely going to kill them. Placing an iPod or a BlackBerry or gifting a MacBook Pro, is not going to make your child survive in this world. The real talent is brain which blooms in gardens, friends, fights, fun, drenching in rain, playing (not on PC!), buying “bayooons” (I am kinda like this word from the core of heart now!). I know many of the readers may argue that the child won’t be competitive if he doesn’t go to classes. My answer: Have you heard the word “saturation”? Yes. That’s the word. None of us is going to feel but the perpetrated (read: A child performing “modern acts”) will produce a silent shrill which will slit our soul. Biologically too, a child’s mind is too under developed to fulfill his parents’ desire of achieving a black belt in karate at the age of 9 or becoming Ian Thorpe at the age of 7 or dancing for 3 straight hours.

But I know none of the parents are going to think about this. And I am not going to give you any example which will make it clear. Why? Coz you don’t wanna think and I don’t wanna say.

Step Up: “Delhi Belly”. A movie not recommended even for adults and ONLY for PERVERTS! Cheapest and meaningless movie with a very ordinary storyline and extraordinary use of swear words. (Your socially active child of 10 will discuss Delhi Belly on Facebook, won’t he?).

Tribute to innocent childhood voice: "The Cuppy Cake" Song (Click for the video and for Mp3 download). Watch or listen to revive the child in you, if any. Hahahaha!

Offlining

*Dump*

;)