A Lot Can Happen Over A Coffee (Only If You Like)!

Dear Lettori,

As I am out of business nowadays (I have given the exams of my final year engineering and I don't want to be in any business for some time either), you might get this absurdum dose of my idle mind. In recent times, paper has gone costly for scribbling whereas entire Internet is offering free space like SRK offering costly liquors in his sponsored IPL parties. He doesn't know what he is doing, though people say he is an excellent marketeer. Same here and there. Well, as he has won (or fixed his winning and whining over MCA officials) so people will close the case.

The world is so interconnected that sometimes I doubt whether the Internet really does something. When Modi does something, entire media (of far western Honolulu too!) start jumping over various opinions, pros and cons. I recall a theory named Butterfly Effect, which I won't discuss here. Few people have told me that when you write a blog you should be aware that you shouldn't waste free space. I am still confused. Does virtual space really matter? Where were we? Yeah, we are interconnected. Just like Captain Aldo Raine and Shoshanna Dreyfus of "Inglorious Basterds". Hahaha...

Now few days back, when the virtual world was all full with the anti-price hike of the black gold. When the petrol pumps were overflowing like the lavatories of Dharavi (here too, there were cries of "Jaldi bhar" instead of "Jaldi kar"!), when the news channels were pseudo-brooding with their so-called "all time free" unknown(!) intellectuals and politicians instrumented with a wireless mic (creating an illusion that this Third World King country is hi-tech), there was an entire young generation in a very unoriginal, peaceful ambiance where no one was going to hear them. They were at the CAFÉ.

I was actually rolling over the road with my natural wheels, when I just oversaw a bunch of young people in a nearby café. All were of age groups of later 20s and early 25s. A narrow gap which just interested me. Normally, I don't take coffee and that day too, I didn't have one. Entering the café, the waiter welcomed me with a smile of American and warmth of an Indian boss. I was more comforted than what my boss would have done. But I took a chair and asked for a juice. Initially, I tried to over hear their conversation but I couldn't make it out. They were busy discussing the English songs and  transferring them via their cell phones. iPhone is so cheap nowadays that Jobs must be fuming in heaven. So goes the story.

One girl from the group, with an unscrupulous attire (maybe to impress people that she belonged to either NID or IIM or equivalent intellectual society present in Ahem..Ahem...da...Bad!) stood up for order and an equivalently unscrupulous boy stood up too. I see, women are most protected in India. Just leaving and paying the bill, I was just going to take the bill when the boy said, "Isn't this reedeekyulous? Pay-troll prizes are going upsie and downsie everytime. Aam to kemnu chalvanu?" Now see the spellings above are meant to be spoken in the way they are written. English still doesn't exist and hence exits from many part of the Indian sub-continent. But the American accent is awful. Kidding aside, the girl replied, "Eaah(!?!?!), God known kyaare khatam thashe aa badhu." I was tempted to ask them something. As I said previously, I am unemployed-by-choice nowadays, so I can pass time as much as I like. I again sat down with a mineral water bottle. (Coffee and juices are almost Rs 80-100. What am I gonna do for petrol then? :P ). They kept jabbering. "Sonia ane Manmohan are stupid. Rahul is naaeeece. Youth power chhe ena ma. Modi ma pan chhe pan e center ma naa aavi shake." (Translation: It means the usual!). I asked them, "Sorry for the interruption, guys." and I was faced like a criminal against Interpol. I got it. English. So I started, "Sorry dude, (That brought a smile on that boy's face) pan tamne nathi lagtu k kharekhar petrol ni jagyae koik alternate shodhvu joie?" (Translation: Don't you think that we should use some alternate other than petrol?). The girl shook her head so enthusiastically that I was well confirmed that she was going to be the next Ford of green cars. The answer, "Eaah. Aapne diesel cars vaaparvi joie. Plus aapne helium cars pan vaapri shakaay." And I greeted them, "Very correct (!)" Smiled and got away.

When people enter the café, they get a image that they will be portrayed as a bunch of intellectuals to the other mass. India is suffering from a mass difference that they are class. The confusion is just the same which you felt in getting the last line. A thick rimmed glass, rudraksh mala or the substitues, kurti and jeans and for boys Tarzan type beards and all that won't make them "een-tail-actuals". They don't know what they are talking about. They just start the conversation and keep misguiding each others.

Our teachers used to tell us that we should talk in English, no matter how much right or wrong we get with the grammar. This doesn't apply to facts and actions. They have an impact. Reprimanding a step, with a view to get in the pseudo-class mass can be precarious. This may not effect if they have a group, similar to themselves. But if ever, they encounter a really knowledgeable person, their souls and lives will run out of their bodies. My question is that is it really necessary to have half-knowledge than some less perfect one?

Maybe a next rendezvous with another group at the "café" might give me the answer! ;)

P.S.: "Kahaani" fame Khan aka Nawazuddin Sidduiqui won the Best Actor award at the Cannes. But we were too busy in making an uproar over Aish's weight or Mallika's next wardrobe malfunction at the Cannes. We are weird but are being made more, as if this was less... ;)

Signing off

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The Math of Western Economy: A 100 year history of cyclic misery!

This time I have taken up in hand a topic, never ever taken before by me. Hence there is an earnest request that if at any point I am wrong, do point me out.

I was surfing through the web when a thought just went through my mind. The last depression in world economy (aka The Great Depression) occurred around 1930s. All we (as far as I believe none of my readers were there in 1930s!) know is just the history. But the thing what bites the most is that within a nominal span of less than a 100 years, we are again facing the crisis of worldwide depression. This actually depicts something.
The western economic laws are quite weird as compared to the other parts of the world. I am not going deep into the Indian economy system because it sustained us even after a long time (before this Western idea came here).

Point one. When you think about a currency note (say Rs 100), think for 2 mins. That Rs 100 note has basically no face value. It is just a piece of paper whose per unit production cost may not be exactly equal to the value which it carries in the market. Funny, isn't it? You buy things using a note which has probably got no monetary importance of its own, except the fact the we hallucinate it with that large Arabic numeral.

The second point is about the idea of consumer being benefited in competition. This is probably the most falsely accepted idea in the entire western economy. Let us take an example. Say I am a service provider of cell phone SIM cards. I have a friend and another rival to compete in the market. Now according to the Western economy, the customers will be benefited when three of us bulls will lock horns with each other to defeat each other. What if the bulls come out together secretly? What if their horns are merged to a bigger powerful system of weapon? What if we three simultaneously increase the price? BAAANNNG! Customers have no choice other than us. Let us add another scenario in this about the foreign investment. This is the answer of Western economy laws to my argument. Are you sure? Take an example of any foreign company that has taken up a day to day life commodity market to make it tough for the rogue money minders. Nope. It can't be happening. Either they haven't survived or they followed Darwin's law. Survival of the fittest and joined the money minting policies of the others. Customer is killed with a white sword now.

Third and probably the most important point is Marketing. Now the Wikipedia definition about marketing is:

"Marketing is the activity, set of institutions, and processes for creating, communicating, delivering, and exchanging offerings that have value for customers, clients, partners, and society at large"

The Chartered Institute of Marketing defines marketing as:


"The management process responsible for identifying, anticipating and satisfying customer requirements profitably"

Did you see the difference? Can you play a "spot-the-mistake" with me here? Maybe. Maybe not. Before going to the answer let me tell you that small and budding companies use up almost 50% of their budget in marketing and promotions. Can you believe that? You should. Now the answer or the goof which lies in the definitions and practices followed by the entire world. Feedback. Does marketing definition include a feedback criteria? Nope. A simple example of a commodity, say toothpaste. While watching IPL, you may encounter with ads of two different toothpastes. Colgate and Vicco. Both are good for your teeth and all that blah blah. But say, you're using Close Up at your home regularly, since your birth. Do you immediately wish to change to either of the two above? No No No. In near future? Only if price difference and quality difference goes considerable. Western economy does not consider the feedback of the customer. They just see the impact. Conduct surveys and so much more of bullshits which in real life do not hold any good. If you see the Indian economy or traditional barter system, business used to spread from word-to-word or mouth-to-mouth. The human psychology is quite certain. If your friend recommends you a particular book, you would rush to buy it. But say, if the same book is being recommended by a person who has actually nothing to do with the publication or the business, would you really go for it? An educated person won't nor even the villagers, nowadays, would buy it.

These are just the three points which I feel are the main (and severely harmful and inevitable) drawbacks of Western economy policies. As far as I feel, their laws are more of complicated mathematics and statistical equation rather than psychological approach between consumer and company. Trust and business have a very fine and an effective bond. Even today, people lend money on trust and if anything goes wrong, that trust is redeemed. This isn't economy. This is abstract way to keep the money flowing. This is the real economy.

I heard from somebody that USA has already flunked the gold standards and is now minting the dollar notes as per its whim. Wow! My next question was, how can they do it? Aren't they flouting rules of economics? Why won't the other countries protest? The answer was, USA is a Godfather at the moment. If its building gets a small crack, other countries will collapse to nothing. Simple example of "Teri bhi chup aur meri bhi chup!" That's how "do the barrel roll" (that was a Google trick ;))

Other drawbacks do include the loan rates, interest calculations, multiple commodity exchanges, hyper sensitive stock indices (which actually shouldn't concern a country. It's only for that company) and so much more. I really think that the Western economics should be re-written with psychological factors added to all its important aspects. Just think, another Great Depression in 100 years. That means that the theory didn't even last more than most of the humbug scientific theories. A shame.

And as I am writing this post, India's rascal government has already hiked Rs. 7.50 in petrol, surging the prices to almost Rs. 77 (normal petrol). We are going to meet the same fate. Plus, we have already subtracted honesty.

All for today...

Signing off....

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Driving The Last Nail Into The Coffin: The End of Engineering

Hello Readers,

Though the results aren't out yet and I have just finished my written exams of engineering., I am in a certain hope that I will be an engineer (an official one!) within few months. Isn't that great? (Don't answer. It is rhetorical!) Rather than a story, this "four-year-sentence" was allegorical. Converted humans to dumb animals which were re-converted into inanimated ones. In a "nuts""hell", you don't come to a conclusion. You just end up sighing with a marksheet in hand and a typical student smile on face.

The world like to live in fool's paradise. And only the fools can think that there is a paradise or hell. Well, it always has been a controversial topic. The thing I would like to discuss is the short-term-nostalgia which the students feel while leaving their college. Short term because in this era of fast transport, ultra fast virtual devices and a steep drop of human emotions, one cannot remain nostalgic longer than a few hours (few seconds cannot be an exaggeration!). But that's the truth. You love your college? Yes we do. Why? Because we had some best friends of our lives. What makes them the best? Their nature, their behavior, their help, etc. List is as long as the scam list of UPA government. College is not just for fun, dudes (I personally don't like using that word), it is a shape changing or a path guiding device. I am not going to talk about the idealistic "ejj-you-kay-shun", I just wanna say that for >90% of students, college is no big deal other than making friends having a merry time, making GFs/BFs (use where appropriate), applying for jobs, exams and all that shit! (I personally find this word very nice!)

So what's new? I say, NOTHING. People are repeating their school days games. They have just gained expertise in it. I see a very narrow mind set street leading to a very big multi-lane highway of escapism. Haaah! (Idiotic. Must be your first word.) Let me explain it.

When you enter a college, you are to be carved into a superior human being (just in thoughts and actions and good behavior, of course). I don't think that any god blessed parent should expect such things from college teachers. For the record, T-E-A-C-H-E-R-S and C-H-E-A-T-E-R-S set a perfect anagram  of each others. So, you need to rely on your surroundings. But who the hell is interested? In my college days, even I have suffered of this marijuana named friendship, which has given me superb merry time experiences. But it just taught me one thing. Every man, for himself. It's idiotic. All the time, canteens are filled with hullabaloo and jesting around. Continuous use of "F" word, doesn't give you an "A" in your column of power.

In this damned country named India, you just need to scream your tonsils out for work getting done. Add to the woes, your teachers act like a raging bull in china shop. I wish I could...Guess work up to you. As far as I have met my counterparts, they have always gained a step-mother behavior from that blood-sucking college. There should be Anti-Ragging committee against teachers too. Why not? Aren't the splicing your brain out?

But you know what, just like a scrap-valued Hindi movie, we have friends. That word has lost its meaning. Facebook is the new medium. The word "Friends" and "Friend Circle" has become a status symbol (must be surprised as since when students have status, na? Facebook status, is what I am talking! :P ). There is actually an unproductive criminal wastage of time in college. Especially in India, much precisely in Gujarat and accurately in all colleges. Motto has become: Eat, Shit (Sheet for Civil and Mech students!) and Die! That's all. You don't get knowledge from anywhere. Isn't it strange? Friends have become a word and a part of life which hurtle us into the chasm of escapism. In my mind, the image of a friend has just reduced to a Bollywood chocolaty boy or a bubbly girl, who remains good for nothing throughout but just gives you an unnecessary teeth showing exercise (P.S. Smile and Laugh are very pure words. They don't provide it). Then what's the big point in having 3 friends or 300 friends? Western culture has given enough importance and sanctity to friendship, unlike ours. We can't even copy right. Copyright or copy right? :P

Sometimes I get so much frustrated when my questions go unanswered, that I wish to hang all the professors to partial death. There is a trick in partial death idea. They feel the pain and then live further to revive it continuously in their mind. (Tarantino might make a movie on this, I guess!). Truth is that nowadays, college has reduced to a filmy style fun making site, where our money is wasted, teachers behave as devils, friends just enjoy and depart and at the end of the time, you are reduced to a nonsense nostalgic chap who has obtained nothing considerable than all the above garbage.

Maybe several more lines might get added here. But for time being I am stopping myself here.

And as for movie info, go for "The Avengers". It's a no-brainer but you just need to appreciate that even though Indians are considered laborious, real work in field (here in SFX, VFX and GFX of movie), western people are light years ahead of us....

Signing off

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